| You are my sweetest downfall (I loved you first) |
[Dec. 30th, 2010|12:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Regina Spektor - Samson | ] |
I started playing World of Warcraft again. Why do I bring it up? I was reading old entries earlier and noticed how "back and forth" I am. I can't commit to ANYTHING. I have no convictions. I can't stick to anything. Why is that?
I'm a fucking pussy. That's why.
A pussy and a nerd.
Nerd pussy. If I were a secret agent, I'd want my Treasurer's codename to be Nerdpussy.
WHAT THE FUCK!?
Anyway. Serious business time.
I played Contra for the NES yesterday. I couldn't stop thinking, "Why the fuck am I playing Contra when Super C is right there?" So I stopped playing Contra after about 20 solid seconds and played Super C. After about 5 minutes, I saw "Sky Shark" and played it.
You see what the fuck I'm talking about?! NO COMMITMENT! Not even to a video game. Jesus Herman Fucking Christ.
To nurture this discovery that I'm a Nerd/Pussy, I went to Omegle. Omegle is a site where you can talk to "Strangers" "anonymously". I "quote" those two words because I'll tell you exactly who you're going to talk to on Omegle:
1) 14 year old boys with new erections they are just ACHING to slap around.
2) 13 year old girls with new love for 14 year old boy erections they are just ACHING to develop.
3) Me. Who is probably too busy jerking off to 13 year ol... You know what? Nevermind. Let's just stop that right there.
Damn, for some reason, I really wanna watch "I Spit On Your Grave" right NOW.
I've discovered Regina Spektor. I think I'm really late to jump on this English bandwagon, but fuck it... I don't give a damn. I'm going to marry her one day. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
Mr. and Mrs. Larry Spektor. I take her name because it's infinitely cooler than mine. I'm not a pussy!!
Goddammit I hate being a nerd pussy.
Goddammit. |
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| Ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing off. |
[Dec. 27th, 2010|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dntel (ft. Ben Gibbard) - (This is) The Dream of Evan and Chan | ] |
Holy. Fuck.
Am I back?
I started this beast back in 2005 out of sheer boredom and it grew into a part of my life. I've never been one to keep diaries or scrapbook, but my LiveJournal became a part of my days as much as video games or stupid movies.
I don't know why I stopped updating.
As I read through entries from 2005-2008, I realized: I was a funny motherfucker. Like... god DAMN. I hope to bring that back here. This is a new chapter in my life. I suppose a quick recap will be sufficient:
February 2009 - moved to Little Rock, AR.
April 2009 - impregnated a girl. Whoops!
October 2009 - Got married to that girl. Whoops!
November 2009 - My firstborn son, Lucas Michael, was born.
March 2010 - split from wife.
October 2010 - officially divorced.
Currently - single and loving it.
Uh... what the fuck else? I've dated a few girls. Had a lot of good sex. Listened to some fantastic music. Hung out with old friends and made some new. I was promoted and then quickly fired. I changed my phone number. I have a dog now.
So here I am. 25 years old, listening to music I've loved since I was a teenager and back in a creative writing mood. I'd expect movie reviews, band reviews and outright, general shenanigans to recommence on a daily/weekly basis.
That'll be all for now. A quick recap is all I wanted to do to get started.
Peace kiddos,
me. |
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| Dr. Horrible, why did you kill her? |
[Apr. 12th, 2010|06:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pretty Lights - Hot Like Sauce | ] |
Lately I've been thinking of getting back into Warcraft. It's a perilous journey. I've done this before - quit and returned - Two or three times now. Am I ready to commit back to it? $15/month isn't too much, right? Especially considering I'm about to cut the cable. I pay $5/month for Xbox Live and $10/month for Netflix. Why do I need cable? I dunno. So I'm gonna get rid of it. So maybe it'll be a return to Azeroth for me, we'll see.
Liz continues to make things difficult for me to be civil. I'm not going to talk about it too much here, but I can tell the divorce isn't going to go NEARLY as smooth as I had hoped. I hoped divorce would be easy? Yeah. Stupid me, right? I know. We'll see how it all pans out. My fingers are crossed for the best for Lucas. That's all I care about. If she tries to screw me, that's fine. As long as Luke is happy/safe.
Want to see the greatest video of ALL TIME? Then let me give you some ground rules first:
1) Don't scroll down and look at the comments. Just watch the video!
2) Watch the first two minutes AT LEAST before turning it off. Just trust me.. I would never disappoint you.
3) Secure your face because it's likely to get blown off.
Ready?
Good luck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaCZN2N6Q_I
That's all for now. Things have come up! I bid you all adieu!
-me. |
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| She said, "How did we get ourselves so lost?" |
[Mar. 22nd, 2010|08:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dear and the Headlights - I'm Bored, You're Amorous | ] |
So.
It's been a long time since my last entry. Since I'm at work all day by myself (duty blues) I figured it'd be a fantastic time to catch up on life's events. Without further ado..
1) Got married, getting divorced. HA! I know, right? It's not a story for LiveJournal, but those who are somewhat involved in my life know the situation. Liz and I were never meant to be together. Our mistake of pregnancy turned into the greatest gift in the world, my son, but it doesn't justify the two of us being miserable forever and ever and ever. I refuse to do it. The papers aren't filed, but given the recent circumstances, it'll happen soon. I assure you. My only fear is she'll get full custody of Lucas and I won't be able to see my son. YES, I know what the law says, but she's about 110lbs of Crazy and I'm just not sure what she's capable of.
2) My boy. My beautiful, amazing son, Lucas Michael Sizemore. He looks more and more like me everyday. He was born November 30th, 2009. Liz is an incredible mother - I really can't respect mothers enough for the things they go through. It's very humbling. Luke is just perfect. Everything he does is magic. Unfortunately, I can't see him 24/7 but I get to go see him after work, and it's so incredible how he recognizes me, and he starts to smile, but then can't figure it all out. I love the way his little mind is working. I won't allow my personal journal to be a forum for Adulthood, but of course being a father changes things. So be it. I love my son, get over it. :)
As far as "updates", those are the two biggest. Pretty significant, eh? Perhaps that's why it's been so long since I've updated anything - I just cannot find the time. Life is going well, though. My apartment isn't as clean as I'd like it. I don't have as much money as I'd like. I don't get as much time off work as I'd like. Of course, this is all insignificant. Life is good.
Things with the family could be better, I suppose. Jessica (my badass sister) is currently pregnant! It's very, very exciting to know I'm going to be an Uncle in May. She's having a girl, and naming her Miles, or Myles.. something to that effect. While I find the name to be a little TOO unique, it's not my position to cast a vote. It's her baby, and no matter what, I'm going to love that kid to death. I can't spoil my son because he's a boy! It's not right! With Jess, though.. haha I'm going to spoil her daughter rotten. Jess is going to hate it. haha That's the best part too! My mom has gone off the deep-end with this whole "naming her Miles" thing. Mom is taking herself way too seriously, and I fear she'll be excommunicated from the family if she continues this path she's on. Again, not a story for LiveJournal, but a huge development in the immediate family. I hope Mom eventually figures out what is important to her, and learns that it's not the name that matters at all. "What's in a name?" Right? Ugh. Drama FTL.
Ah well, that's enough updating for now. I'll try to post more often.
For all those who scream "tl;dr" here's your version:
I have good beer, great friends and the most perfect kid in the world.
What more would I ever need?
COUNT IT! |
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| Further down the river... |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|07:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus - Stellar | ] |
Life continues. Everything is going well. I find myself content with what I do daily, so what more could I ask for?
My sister is pregnant, and that's pretty effin' cool. She's hoping for a girl. She'll be a fantastic mother. I think she's due sometime in May. My son, Lucas, is doing well in the womb. He's been kicking the hell out of Liz, but I suppose that's what unborn babies do to relieve boredom - Exercise. Liz is over at her sister's for the weekend helping out with her dog. I miss her, but I know she's doing what she's gotta do. Plus, it's Drill Weekend for us anyway, so I've been working.
Seanbaby is making his cross-country roadtrip to his new duty station in Millington, TN. AWESOME! Millington is only about two and a half hours away, so that's an easy journey to hang out again. We have a lot of time to make up on! I haven't seen the guy in almost two years. Holy shit, has it really been that long? I left Seattle in September 2007..? Goddamn, OVER two years. So, like I said.. A lot of drinking to make up for. Skuh!
I think my whole financial situation is finally starting to level out. I have a good amount of money in the bank/savings and my credit card is slowly but surely being paid off. Come February I should finally have my Navy loan paid off, so that's another $200/month. Sweet! That, plus the annual raise will be a great paycheck. I know I'll have an assload of money going towards Luke with his diapers, toys, toiletries, etc. etc. so the extra money will help.
Okie doke, I should be getting back to work. I have a new Facebook page (and deleted the MySpace one), so if you wanna add me, do so!
-me. |
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| Back to the streets where we began... |
[Sep. 24th, 2009|11:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NIN - The Lights in the Sky | ] |
Liz finally told me she concurs. My son is going to be named Lucas Michael Sizemore. Awesome, huh? Of course, he'll go by Luke. I fought hard for this name!! Liz has kept me on pins-and-needles for the past month or so, bouncing between My name (meh.. Larry Matthew) and Lucas Michael. My reasoning? I have a few:
Lucas = Luke. Most names have a ridiculous-sounding nickname to it. (e.g. Nicholas = Nick; Thomas = Tom, Tommy, etc.; James = Jim; etc.). Luke is a great nickname.
Luke = Biblical. The Gospel of Luke in the bible is where we get a lot of the specifics of Christianity. Read it sometime.. that and Acts. Not that I'm highly religious, but a lot of my life is Christian-based.
Luke = Luke Skywalker. Son of Darth Vader, Hero of the Rebellion, Destroyer of Deathstars. Need I say more?
Michael = Biblical. I could sit here and tell you who Michael was, but let Wikipedia do the talking - And I quote, "He is viewed as the field commander of the Army of God." WHA!? I know, right? Bad. Ass.
Anyway. Lucas Michael. Has a nice ring to it, eh? If you don't like it, you can kiss my bum. I think it's rad. Plus his initials and mine are the same: LMS.
I can dig it.
me. |
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| Cat's in the cradle.. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|08:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NIN - Head Like a Hole | ] |
It's been almost (maybe over?) two month since my last entry. Here's why:
I'M HAVING A BOY! Liz and I went to the OB/GYN last Tuesday and they did a 3D Ultrasound, which confirms a Boy. :D I'm beaming from the good news. It's such a relief to see and hear a Doctor confirm the baby is healthy, growing, active, etc. Everything is going great! Liz's next appointment is September 23rd, but it's just a check-up.
She seems to be going well, too. Tomorrow we're going to start the 8-9 hour car ride up to Indiana to let her meet the family. I'm not looking forward to the long-ass drive, but it'll be worth it. Mum is supposed to be coming up from Florida! Hopefully we can all go out and do something together.. I'd like that a lot.
Work has been crazy, as usual. I LOVE shore duty, though. Love it. My department head might have to switch his job in the Navy, which means I'll be moving up as Department Head. Promotions FTW, right? I'm psyched about finally being a DH. It's a lot of responsibility, but I'm ready for it.
ALSO, they're making me the SAVI Advocate, so I'll be in Great Lakes, IL from 14-18 September for that school. :\ I hate Navy schools.. but it's gotta be done, I suppose.
It's 9:20am now and I suppose I should get some work done. Until next time.
-me. |
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| Wonderwall. |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|08:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ludacris - Freaky Thangs | ] |
I've kept a steady strain on updating this journal for a very, very long time. I suppose either I've lost interest in publishing my Day-to-Day, or I'm just too busy to do so nowadays. I don't really think I'm too busy.
Life is just.. progressing. But not in any sort of "doing better" sense.. simply forward motion - The passing of time. I feel like I'm just coasting with Liz now. We've reached a point where I can't possibly love her more, but I still don't think it's enough. I don't love her as much as I loved Ariel, or Kendra; or at least I don't feel like I do. I've never really TRUSTED Liz, per se, and I think that has a lot to do with it. Love cannot blossom from lies, and so far I've caught her in too many.
It's a dilemma.. one I promised myself I'd never get caught in, and here I am. Living it. Do I break up with her because I know it's the right thing? Or do I stay with her because she is having my child? When in all reality, I'm not 100% sure it is MY child. Fuck. I know what the right thing to do is. I already know it.. so why is it so goddamn hard?
Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe my brief history of romance has made my view of love storybook, when in reality nothing is storybook. Maybe a relationship isn't supposed to come naturally or easily.. and maybe people get married because it's just the next step. Can that last!? Do I even WANT it to? I can't see myself growing old with Liz. We are two completely different people, trying to make something work.
What if that's the secret, though? At least we're both still trying. Maybe the secret is to not give up when things seem to be ending. I don't know..
I gotta work now. Perhaps I'll update later? But you all know better, don't you? |
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| So take a look at me now.. |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|07:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Old-School, 1970s Porno music? | ] |
I think the cat is out of the bag? Liz is pregnant! I'm going to be a Daddy. There is only two more people to tell - her mom and dad. This weekend she and I will be taking a trip to Louisiana to meet the parents and drop the bomb, so to speak. I think her dad will be okay with it, but I have a feeling her mom is going to freak out. Hopefully I'm wrong! We both feel like she already knows, so maybe it won't be a TOO much of a fiasco.
ANYWAY! The baby is due on December 22nd, 2009! Liz says she feels like it'll be a boy and it'll be born on Christmas. My ego basically shot through the roof. Everyone knows I have a God Complex already.. now I'm going to have a baby boy born on December 25th? I think that basically confirms what we all suspected anyway. :)
We have discussed baby names, but we cannot figure out a good "boy name". For a girl, we really like "Lauren Elizabeth Sizemore"; but nothing is set in stone. Lauren Elizabeth is just a combination of our first two names.. I think that was the appeal in it. Girl names always sound adorable, so they're easy to pick. Boy names are ridiculous to pick. You gotta think - My last name is Sizemore, so the kid will already take slack for being short and have that last name. The first name CANNOT be something easily made fun of.. and I don't want a fruity name either like Tristan or Brayden or whatever. I can't set my kid up to be gay from the start!
The big question I've been hearing is "Are you two going to get married?" Well, yes. We both want to marry each other, but we don't want people to think we're getting married because of the baby. That's absurd. I really do love her, and YES it's been such a short time together.. but we've been living together for almost a month now. I figure if she was going to drive me insane, she would've done it by now. I knew Ariel for 2 years before we lived together, and after a month of her being there, I was ready for her to go.. haha.
Ah well.. Life has finally taken a step forward. A year ago today I was miserable on a ship in Bahrain, wondering where my life would be if I hadn't joined the Navy. Here on the 22nd of April, 2009.. I can't imagine even being alive without my beautiful girlfriend and our baby.
Life is, once again, Good.
-me.
(P.S. This woman at work just gave me two CDs, with what I'm fairly certain, is old-school, 1970s Porno music. What. The. Mother. Fuck?) |
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| All along the watchtower.. |
[Apr. 18th, 2009|10:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Linkin Park - Crawling | ] |
This entry is being typed strictly out of boredom. Today is the first day of drill weekend, which optimistically means I only have to wake up at 0510 one more day. Monday is everyone's comp day for the DWE but since I'm on duty I have to work. Optimistically this means I just get to spend a whole day with Liz with the only caveat being I have to be at work. That's not too bad!
It sucks knowing something but being unable to discuss it. I'll leave it at that.
Good news? I just secured an appointment to get my tires changed. It'll set me back about $764.28, but at least I'll have four good tires. I expected to pay a grand, so that's actually not too bad.
Fuck I hate working weekends! I need to catch up on sleep. I woke up this morning feeling great though. Of course I didn't want to wake up, but at least Liz was lying next to me so all is well. I was feeling sick yesterday, but I think it was just a 24-hour bug or something.
10:11am. Bates said I could roll out 15 minutes early to take the car to the shop. Good deal. That gives me a little time for lunch too.
Shit, I gotta finish this up for now. Work beckons.
-me. |
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